Do you? Am I a residue, or as small as insignificant ornament in your Christmas tree of friends? Am I an unnecessary existence in your lives?
I hate to have to admit, this is what i fear most. To think I have a few people I actually care about…
Sometimes I found myself deliberately delaying replies to my friends text messages. Even if my heart is so happy just with the thought that someone needed something from me, I would not reply right away. God, I believe you would know why…
And i hate myself for it. And I hate my friends for it. I’m not so smart to figure whether you care about me or not. I am always guessing and with you not doing what a person who care for me should do, what am i to believe?
And i hate this silly monologues i do with the internet.
And i hate that it’s just a defense mechanism and i know it.
And no stranger would care because if if those people of proximity doesn’t, why would they.